Couple Seeking a Female Who Actually Wants to Be There

What single women actually want from a couple

Ask the open-minded single women on this site what puts them off, and the same answers come up again and again. Couples where it is obviously his idea and she is going along with it. Couples who treat her like a service rather than a person. Couples who vanish the moment it is done, or who were never really honest about being a couple at all.

Now ask what they are looking for, and it is the mirror image. A couple who are genuinely into each other and genuinely into her. A woman in the couple who actually wants this too, not one who is quietly tolerating it. Clarity about what the evening is, and warmth afterwards. It is not complicated, but it is specific, and the couples who offer it stand out immediately.

Getting the approach right

The unicorn cliché exists for a reason, and the reason is that a lot of couples approach single women badly. Here is how not to.

Message as a couple, and make it obvious both of you are present and keen. A woman can tell within two lines whether she is talking to a couple or to one half of one pretending. Say something that shows you read her profile, because she can see how many lazy copy-paste openers she gets, and a real question puts you instantly ahead. And be honest about pace. If she says she likes to meet for a drink first and take it slowly, the couples who respect that are the ones she actually meets.

The whole thing runs on her feeling wanted and safe in equal measure. Get both right and you are no longer the hundredth message, you are the one she replies to.

When she is the one messaging you

Plenty of couples on here find that the right woman comes to them, because the honest, well-written couple profiles get noticed. If that happens, the same rules apply in reverse: reply as a couple, be clear and warm, and do not suddenly go cool or pushy the moment she shows interest. The connections that last past the first night are the ones where nobody changed character between the profile and the meeting.

Meeting, and making it good

Keep the first meeting to a public drink, always. Beyond the obvious sense of it, that first hour tells her more about the two of you than any profile could: whether you are warm with each other, whether you include her in the conversation or talk over her, whether the woman in the couple is actually happy to be there. She is reading all of it. Take it at her pace, keep checking in, and let it be genuinely mutual. The couples who get invited back are the ones who made her first time with them feel easy.

If you are weighing up whether it is a woman you are after at all, it is worth knowing that some couples on the site are looking for a single man instead, and others prefer to meet another couple entirely. But if it is the right woman you want, she is on here, and she is hoping a couple like you knows how to ask.